Book review - The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

October 2018

I recently elected to read ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ as part of a self-study program. At the outset, I would like to answer the first question that is possibly on everyone’s mind, “Why choose a book that’s originally published in 1989?” Even today, this book remains one of the best-selling nonfiction business & self-help books in history, a testament to the fact that these habits & principles are valid irrespective of the time elapsed since publication. In addition, like most people I know, I am aware of key insights from this book through management literature & workshops. Hence, I thought this would be the best opportunity to read the book and understand the concepts in detail.

Potential second question, “In this digital era of Google Talli (mother in Telugu), how useful is a book review when all information is available at the click of a button or by saying ‘Ok Alexa/ Ok Google’ ;)”? Here I would like to mention that more than a book review, I consider this as a platform to share my takeaways from the book. Apart from the 7 habits, there are a lot of concepts that have been articulated in a simple manner. With this preamble, let’s deep dive in to the detailsJ.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey

(Source: The titular book)

• It’s a principle-centered, character-based, “inside-out” approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness. It emphasises focus on Character ethic and moving along the maturity continuum from dependence to independence to inter-dependence.
• Habits 1, 2, and 3 deal with self-mastery – moving from dependence to independence. These are ‘Private Victories', the essence of character growth.
• Habits 4,5,6 help us to move from independence to effective interdependence. These ‘Public Victories’ relate to teamwork, cooperation, and communication.
• “Private victories precede public victories. Public Victory does not mean victory over other people. It means working together, communicating together, making things happen together that even the same people couldn’t make happen by working independently.”

• Personality ethic vs Character ethic for success:

o   After WW I, success was viewed as a function of personality, public image whereas before WW I, the emphasis was on Character ethic.

o   Character ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles (integrity, humility, fidelity, courage, patience et al) into their basic character.

o   “The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. If our words and our actions come from superficial human relations techniques (the Personality Ethic) rather than from our own inner core (the Character Ethic), others will sense that duplicity. We simply won’t be able to create and sustain the foundation necessary for effective interdependence.”

•  Paradigm shift:

o   Paradigm refers to the lens through which we view the world. Paradigm shift is the change in one’s perspective in the way we perceive.

o   The term paradigm shift was introduced by Thomas Kuhn in his book ‘The Structure of Scientific Revolutions’. Kuhn shows how almost every significant breakthrough in the field of scientific endeavor is first a break with tradition, with old ways of thinking, with old paradigms.

o   It can be described as an “Aha!” moment, that requires a new level of thinking. As Albert Einstein observed, “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”

• Principles and values:

o   Principles are the territory. Values are maps.

o   “Principles are natural laws that are external to us and that ultimately control the consequences of our actions. Values are internal and subjective; values govern people’s behaviour but principles govern the consequences of those behaviours.”

• Habit:

o   The intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three.

o   “Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why. Skill is the how to do. And desire is the motivation, the want to do.”

• Maturity continuum:

o   Dependence to Independence to Interdependence . Life is, by nature, highly interdependent.

o   “Interdependence is the paradigm of we—we can do it; we can cooperate; we can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together.”

• Habit 1: Being proactive

o   “It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. “

o   Between stimulus and response, we have the freedom to choose.

o    “Within the freedom to choose are those endowments that make us uniquely human:

§  self-awareness

§  imagination—the ability to create in our minds beyond our present reality

§  conscience—a deep inner awareness of right and wrong, of the principles that govern our behavior, and a sense of the degree to which our thoughts and actions are in harmony with them

§  independent will—the ability to act based on our self-awareness, free of all other influences.“

• Circle of Concern vs Circle of Influence:

o   As long as we are working in our Circle of Concern, we empower the things within it to control us. 

o   Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about.

o   Expanding the Circle of Influence - The “have’s” and the “be’s”. “The Circle of Concern is filled with the have’s. The Circle of Influence is filled with the be’s—I can be more patient, be wise, be loving. It’s the character focus.”

• Making and keeping Commitments:

o   At the very heart of our Circle of Influence is our ability to make and keep commitments and promises.

o   “The commitments we make to ourselves and to others, and our integrity to those commitments, is the essence and clearest manifestation of our proactivity.”

• Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

o   To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination.

o   “It means to know where you’re going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.”

o   In effective personal leadership, visualization and affirmation are two powerful techniques.

• P/PC balance:

o   P stands for production of desired results. PC stands for production capability, the ability or asset that produces the asset. (Explained with the fable – goose that laid golden eggs).

o   Effectiveness lies in the balance.

• Habit 3: Put first things first

o   The focus is on the area of time management - organize and execute around priorities.

o   Effective people keep P and PC in balance by focusing on the important, but not urgent, high leverage capacity-building activities - Quadrant II of the time management matrix.

• Delegation: Increasing P and PC:

o   “Delegation means growth, both for individuals and for organizations.”

o   There are basically two kinds of delegation: “gofer delegation” and “stewardship delegation.”

§  Gofer delegation means “Go for this, go for that, do this, do that, and tell me when it’s done.”

§  Stewardship delegation is focused on results instead of methods. It gives people a choice of method and makes them responsible for results. It takes more time in the beginning, but it’s time well invested.

• Habit 4: Think Win/Win

o   Win/Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying.

o   It comes from a character of integrity, maturity, and the Abundance Mentality.

o   “Abundance mentality is the paradigm that there is plenty out there for everybody.”

o   “There is security in knowing that Win/Win solutions do exist, that life is not always “either/or”, that there are almost always mutually beneficial Third alternatives. “

• Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood

o   Empathetic listening is the key to effective interpersonal communication. It means listening with intent to understand.

o   “There is security in knowing that you can step out of your frame of reference without giving it up, that you really, deeply understand another human being. There is security that comes when you authentically, creatively and cooperatively interact with other people and really experience these interdependent habits.”

• The Emotional bank account:

o   An Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship.

o   “If I make deposits into an Emotional Bank Account with you through courtesy, kindness, honesty, and keeping my commitments to you, I build up a reserve. “

o   “Our most constant relationships, like marriage, require our most constant deposits. With continuing expectations, old deposits evaporate. If you suddenly run into an old high school friend you haven’t seen for years, you can pick up right where you left off because the earlier deposits are still there. But your accounts with the people you interact with on a regular basis require more constant investment. Remember that quick fix is a mirage. Building and repairing relationships are long-term investments.”

• Habit 6: Synergize

o   Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

o   Combination of these ingredients—the high Emotional Bank Account, thinking Win/Win, and seeking first to understand—creates the ideal environment for synergy.

o   Buddhism calls this “the middle way.” Middle in this sense does not mean compromise; it means higher, like the apex of the triangle.

o   Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy—the mental, the emotional, the psychological differences between people. “The key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.”

• Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

o   Habit 7 is personal PC. ‘Sharpen the saw’ means renewing the four dimensions of your nature – physical, spiritual, mental, social/ emotional, regularly and consistently, in wise and balanced ways.

(Source: The titular book)

o   “Renewal is the principle – and the process – that empowers us to move on an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement.”

o   Moving along the upward spiral requires us to learn, commit, and do - learn, commit, and do - learn, commit, and do again.

• Scripting others:

o   “Most people are a function of the social mirror, scripted by the opinions, the perceptions, the paradigms of the people around them. We can choose to reflect back to others a clear, undistorted vision of themselves. We can affirm their proactive nature and treat them as responsible people. We can help script them as principle-centred, value-based, independent, worthwhile individuals.”

o   “With the Abundance mentality, we realize that giving a positive reflection to others in no way diminishes us. It increases us because it increases the opportunities for effective interaction with other proactive people.”

• Becoming a Transition person

o   Dr.Terry Warner: Transition person, instead of transferring the scripts to the next generation, we can change them.

o   “A tendency that’s run through your family for generations can stop with you. You’re a transition person – a link between the past and the future. And your own change can effect many, many lives downstream.”

• Love is a verb: 

o   “In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Movies have generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.”

o   “Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values.”

o   “We feel the key to staying in love is to talk, particularly about feelings. We try to communicate with each other several times a day, even when I’m travelling. Its like coming into home base, which accesses all the happiness, security and values it represents. Thomas Wolfe was wrong. You can go home again – if your home is a treasured relationship, a precious companionship.”

•  Conclusion:

o   “Obviously building a character of total integrity and living the life of love and service that creates such unity isn’t easy. It isn’t a quick fix. But its possible.”

o   “It begins with the desire to centre our lives on correct principles, to break out of the paradigms created by other centres and the comfort zone of unworthy habits.”

o   “Success comes from within. It comes from accurate paradigms and correct principles deep in our own mind and in our own heart. It comes from inside-out congruence, from living a life of integrity in which our daily habits reflect our deepest values. “

While reading, one might feel that these concepts are known, which is true, since all the above are based on natural laws and principles. The articulation of these concepts in a clear concise way is the biggest take-away from this book. The idea is not to grasp everything in one go. I would urge you to look at this more as a reference document, something that you can read at relevant points in time, based on respective phase/ situation in life. 

And now to answer the ultimate question “Why books?” Though we have all been told umpteen number of benefits of reading books, my personal favourite answer to the question “Why do you love reading books”? is:

(Source: Google)

I have always been a voracious reader, and there is something magical about being teleported (literally) to new worlds. Nevertheless, when I came across Warren Buffet’s statement “Read 500 pages a day”, I wondered if this is even possible. On this topic, I would like to share this insightful article on reading 200 books a year - just remember, “Do not quit before you start”.

Apart from the ideas indicated in the article, I would like to add another powerful tip that has worked wonders for me personally – a book club. When a friend of mine suggested that we get together and start with a target of reading 100 books this year, I was in from the word go. While my friends & I do not share book summaries, we share quotes and snippets from the books that we read (fiction & non-fiction), and it’s been awe-inspiring and motivating. When I share something positive, I find myself pondering about how to apply these in day-to-day situations… That’s the power of sharing!

Therefore, I leave you with this thought – make a group (take your pick - colleagues, friends, car pool), pick up a book and embark on this marvellous journey of self-discovery. Cheers to reading !!!