Short story: Escapism

July 2016

I have always wanted to write a fiction short story; and this is my first attempt at it. There lies great peril in venturing into the realm of fiction after writing articles based on real life ! Inspite of the risk of this being construed as reality, I have decided to take the plunge ;)

(Source: Google)

The first time I saw her, she stood out among the college crowd - not because of the reasons a heroine stands out in the films, but because she was a loner and didn't have any pretentious airs of trying to fit in. We did not become friends until quite sometime later, when we started working on a group assignment. I was so used to being 'the person in the room with the highest moral compass', it was a surprise coming across a person with moral values and ethics which were probably a notch higher than mine. I used to tease her that we were the perfect examples of the geek/ nerd debate (oh yes, there is a difference), and if she hadn't been around, I would've definitely been designated as a nerd - now I could officially proclaim myself a geek ;).

It was really fun talking to her about all things under the sun - academia, family, relationships, ethics and what not. We not only had similar interests (books, music, movies) but we also had an eerily similar way of dealing with stuff - it was like looking at a mirror all the time! Time flew, exams were round the corner and it was time for placements. After all those hours of debates and discussions, I used to think that we would probably be the only two people to graduate without a job, because finding a job that is meaningful, and one that marries your skill set and passion is not easy to come by. I was nonplussed when she applied for a job on campus and took the first job that came her way. It's surprising how often people who take the righteous moral stance in a classroom environment, often do not stand their ground in the real world. I wanted to stand true to the ideals I believed in, graduated without a job and continued my quest for the Utopian job, which I finally found after Herculean efforts.

We slipped into our new hectic roles but still kept in touch, and entered the next phase of life - search for the 'elusive one and only'. I have realised that the pursuit of the potential partner reveals more about a person than living with them. Marriage being a life-long commitment, everyone has a right to choose what they believe is priority number one (from looks to educational qualifications); the fact that this choice is not viewed through the lens of pragmatism is the root cause of mismatched expectations. So each of us started with our laundry list of the most desired qualities, dissected each and every profile shown to us and gave each other solace when we felt the whole world was against us (unfortunately parents bore the brunt). And the saga continued for a year.

Imagine my astonishment when out of the blue, she called me one day to inform me that she had spoken with a guy. I was a wee bit annoyed that I came to know of this after and not before the call, but I was excited for her because this meant that the horoscopes had matched - which was an essential pre-requisite in her house; and for quite sometime everyone had been very tensed that her horoscope was not matching with anyone. I could not fathom how stars that were millions of light years away could decide anyone's life choices, but I kept that discussion aside because we had more important things to discuss - the guy's profile, what they had talked about, further questions to be asked et al. Another bombshell arrived in the form of her next statement, that the guy and his whole family were coming to see her in two days. We had discussed quite a number of times that yes, marriage was definitely about two families, but it would be preferable to meet the guy first, rather than subjecting two families to pressure, and also for removing the 'family bias' element (not all sons / daughters are representative of the family set ;). She was talking about the preparations for the event, list of things to be done and I went through the call wondering why it resembled a grocery list; she told me everything except what I wanted to hear - expression of her feelings. Before I hung up the phone, I realised with a sinking feeling that the marriage would take place, not because the guy and girl liked each other, but because everything else was picture perfect - matching of horoscopes, good family et al.

The two families met each other, the guy and the girl spoke for 15 minutes, and as expected the proposal was finalised. Parents and relatives were escatic, and dates were finalised - engagement within a month and marriage within two months! The more I heard about the guy, the more I felt that she was unhappy. Don't mistake me, he was a good guy from a decent family. It was just that they were fundamentally different. She was an introvert with finicky notions of how things should and shouldn't be, had rigid principles about cleanliness & hygiene, was a devout believer in God and all things ritualistic, frugal, and did not believe in the romantic ideas of love. He on the other hand, was an extrovert with a love of all things dramatic, and who was influenced by the 'facebook displays of love' and 'la-di-da' lifestyle.

Against all her wishes for a simple and austere wedding, the wedding was celebrated on a grand scale with pomp and splendour. I sensed an impenetrable wall between us. Like me, she believed that dirty linen should not be washed in public, and much to my charign, she steadfastly stuck to this ideal. I did not want to disturb her marital life and wanted to give her time to adjust, but I missed our conversations so much that I ended up calling her within two weeks. Contrary to the chirpy voice that I had wanted to hear, I heard someone who was confused and frustrated. Assuming that it was due to unexpected marital adjustments, I started calling her during work hours so that she could chat openly about what was bothering her. The conversations were even shorter than the earlier ones, as she indicated that her new boss was a hard taskmaster.

Finally, we were able to meet when she came to her mom's place, and she told me everything was fine. As she was similar to other introverts who would not initiate conversations, I started talking nineteen to the dozen about my life. And just to make her open up, I used the oldest trick in the book of talking about people sailing in the same boat - I started talking about recently married colleagues, their cribs and rants about what went right and wrong. She started nodding her head in acquiescence and started opening up - that's the power of sharing -  once people realise they are not the only ones going through a partiular phase, they immediately relate to it and open up. She mentioned that things were not hunky dory, they basically disagreed on a lot of things - from trivial issues like posting innumerable photos on facebook to major ones like hygiene et al. She was a sensitive person, took time to contemplate things and abhorred hasty conclusions. On the other hand, he was an impulsive person who wanted immediate solutions, not wanting to waste time on endless debates. To be honest, I was relieved. Thank god we are blessed to not be part of that social strata where adultery and domestic violence are common issues. I listened to her patiently, and was sure that over time, both of them would sort things out.

Days turned into months, but I did not find much change in the couple's dynamics, I could always sense the undercurrent of discomfort. To me, the effort my friend was making to maintain semblance of sanity was very obvious. Even the way they praised each other seemed very pretentious. Everytime I talked to her, I loyally defended her and took her side. Slowly the calls reduced and after being off radar for close to 2 months, I called her demanding an answer whether she was happy or not. She said that her family life was good; her job uncertainty and her new boss were the reason for her frustration.  As she continued talking to me, her husband also continued chattering, and our conversation was frequently interrupted because she had to respond to him. During this conversation, two things struck me, firstly, she was internally seething at his casual attitude and interruption of our conversation; secondly, her concerns about the job did not seem like major concerns that could disrupt one's way of life. And she was definitely not a person who would let these issues affect her. And that's when it struck me - my friend wanted to believe that the root cause of  her frustration, annoyance and irritation was her professional life, and not her personal life. In order to reinforce that belief, she would keep telling herself, her husband, her family, her close friends and hell, anyone willing to lend a ear that she was miserable solely because of her job. And in the echoes of the night I heard her silent plea, "Don't judge me for escaping the stresses and cruelty of the world differently than you do."